It’s nice to feel at the end of the day that someone out there cares for you better than the last person did. Although it still is difficult to let someone in, afraid that you’ll be judged by who you are, you’re slowly opening up yourself to the possibility that this someone really won’t hurt you.
You’re taking it slow, but you’re progressing to be able to open up your heart again to care for someone new. You tell yourself that it’s about time you let something good happen to you, someone good.
You have little to no expectations that something will happen in the future, but to KNOW that this person sincerely and genuinely cares for you makes you feel safe to not expect so much. The feeling of knowing they’re not playing you. The feeling of security… You haven’t felt this feeling from a person in years. You don’t question what they’re doing when you’re not there. You don’t question the kinds of people that they spend time with. You don’t question what they do on their free time. Because at the end of the day, even if they’re currently not doing these things with you, you know they’re not out there fucking around and then telling you something else when you ask.
You don’t feel doubt. You know that they won’t abuse you, or walk in and out of your life in free will. They care for you and encourage you to be better every single day in all aspects of your life.
And it’s great…
It’s just intimidation that you feel. They seem so well-put together. They have their lives in order. You, you’re still barely trying to climb that ladder. You don’t want to feel like you’re less than them in any way. You know exactly all that you have to offer, but after all the hurtful experiences you’ve been through, you’re just cautious of what you throw out there.
Little by little though, you’ll let the light shine on you again so that you can show everyone that after people step on you and put you down, you can still work your way back to the top.