starting new –

121515; 10:16pm

In recent events, I’ve come to learn that while you try all that you can to keep someone in your life and make them important and a priority, you still can’t change how a person decides to treat you. I’ve had a personal blog not too long ago, but decided to delete it after people began putting me down and using all my thoughts, emotions, dreams, and aspirations against me, to taunt me, to hurt me, and to destroy all I had for myself at the time.

It’s been some months since then, and now I’m starting over…

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It has been very difficult the past couple of days to keep myself together from all the nasty words that have been spoken to me without reason or justification. You can love a person all you want, friend, best friend, boyfriend, whatever. But if that person refuses to appreciate you, or even treat you as a human being, then they are not worth the trouble. If that person can’t stand to see you happy without them being the sole reason of your happiness, then they shouldn’t have your time. Because at the end of the day, that person will guilt you, punish you, hurt you, and be disloyal to you. Because they will try to make your world revolve around them. Because they’ll charm you to make you feel secure, and take that away when they want it all to be about them.

This is a person you call a narcissist. It hurts doesn’t it, when the person you’ve trusted the most has also been the one manipulating you the whole time?

You keep asking yourself, “how do I move on from this betrayal?” Sometimes you just don’t, but you have to look at the bigger picture and the positivity that you are surrounded by. Not everything is dark and gray. They only wanted you to believe that it is so that you can depend on them.

It’s hurtful, of course. But sometimes, you just have to bring up the courage to start over.

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