32416; 3:36pm

Here’s to another day of feeling just as shitty as ever. When will I ever just be okay and not be so sad? Let me lay out a regular week for you: 3 days out of the week, I’m grumpy, don’t want to talk to anyone and just want to be left alone. 1 day, if I’m lucky, I’ll have such a good day that I actually talk to people, joke around, and am enthusiastic about my day. But right after that day happens, then comes the waterworks. Can’t stop crying the next day, just sad for no damn reason, and sneaking off into the bathroom to cry so that no one can see. That counts for 5 days out of my week. The other two days… I’m drunk to be numb from any feeling at all.

Is this how life is supposed to work? Because if it is, then it sucks. Why do I have to be the one stuck feeling so much? Why am I that one that has to be stuck caring so much?

I don’t want to feel. I want to be like normal people who are able to simply not be sad so hard.

Happy self awareness month. Let me go back home and do what I do.

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