61316; 9:12am

This chapter of my life is now coming to a close. This chapter with my best friends whom I spend almost every day with. We are all going our separate ways to reach our life goals, to be adults, and to be responsible human beings in society.

It is a little bittersweet because they’re all leaving and they’re also all I have here. But it’s also time for me to grow up and start living the real adult life. No more partying on weekdays and no more binge drinking and blacking out. I never thought this day would come. We all kept acting like our friendships would never change, and yet here it is. We are obviously going to try and keep our friendships working and functioning as closely as possible but distance and life usually gets in the way.

I am hoping this change is for the better. I’m hoping this change will help me get my life together.

I am still extremely down because he left me. Now, I’m at a point in my life where I can actually prove to him that I can change but now it’s too late. Why did I have to mess up so bad? Why couldn’t I just hold it out another couple of weeks? I’m hoping sooner rather than later that we could fix things. I’m hoping that the new training is going to ease my anxiety and help me be better.

Time heals all right? I guess right now I’m hoping that I can distract myself from thinking about him by staying busy, focus on building my career and myself, and then maybe someone will accept me just the way that I am.

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